Mothers Speak: A Dream Fulfilled

We’re almost 48 hours into our beach work-ation and I’ve already cried once. OK…twice. Have you ever been so careful to pack everything you need down to the last bobby pin and you get to your destination only to realize you left something major behind… like your children? That’s exactly how I felt as soon as we got to Myrtle Beach. Clark and I have formulated our travel routine down to a science. I pack the bags. He loads the car. I unpack our suitcases and scope out the nearest WalMart while he set up his rig for soundcheck at whatever venue we happen to be playing that night. You could say when it comes to traveling, we’re pros. However, when you throw two children into the mix, our scientific workability utterly dissolves. The meltdown began on Tuesday night at 15 minutes before call time with two little people looking at me like, “Excuse me, did you forget something? Contrary to popular belief, we don’t love music more than food.” It was at this point it dawned on me, and not a moment sooner, that we forgot to pack the most important thing: the road nanny! And I call myself a planner for crying out loud… a shop-for-Christmas-in-August kind of planner. What did I think they were doing to do? Snack on guitar picks backstage and snuggle up next to Clark’s amp while drifting off to dreamland? Thankfully, an angel from Heaven disguised as my dad just so happened to be in town and took the kids for the night. When Clark and I arrived back to the hotel after the event, they were snug in their bed… bellies full with no amp in sight. Needless to say, I have hereby turned in my microphone for the rest of the week and am currently working on a new gig,,, how to get my ten-month-old and my pre-schooler to nap in the same hotel room. I tried to give Mia a morning nap today by locking Salem and I in the bathroom with nothing but a set of Chic-Fil-A straws as makeshift drumsticks and Phil Collins First Farewell Tour in French. That lasted about 20 minutes. Clark says we’ll laugh about this one day. I say… BOOK THE FRIGGIN’ NANNY!

Here’s the honest to goodness truth. I can remember the point at which I was ready to pack up the life of a traveling musician and start a family. Granted, I was losing my hearing in a Korean hospital and highly medicated that particular moment, but something deep inside me was at rest knowing that I had fulfilled a dream up to that point, and I was ready for a new, less public, chapter of the story. I’ve talked to many moms-to-be who think that having children will compete with their plans and dreams to such a degree that they become empty, miserable, and resentful half wits with little more to contribute to a conversation than the cost comparison of Luvs vs. Huggies… that somehow motherhood is the equivalent of creative and intellectual suicide. Don’t get me wrong. Right at this very moment, Operation Naptime consists of me sitting on a cold tile floor in the hotel kitchenette while Salem is around the corner in his pack-n-play singing “Ee-I-Ee-I-O” at the top of his lungs. Quite a far cry from singing before a crowd of 20,000 with my face plastered on a jumbotron. Do I ever miss it? Yes. Would I ever trade the audience I have with my kids for all the packed arenas in the world? Not on your life.

So lets get real for a moment. What dreams or plans did you sacrifice by having children? Do you feel cheated or resentful? {Don’t be shy. You can comment anonymously}. Or has becoming a mother provided you with a sense of mission and fulfillment more than you had originally bargained for? Are you somewhere in between? Is there something you still aspire to do that you hope to one day fulfill when the kids can find their own dinner and they no longer need quiet on the set to fall asleep?

Speaking of which… mission accomplished! Apparently a couple of rounds of “Old McDonald” does the trick. They’re both sound asleep. Too bad. Just when the tile floor was getting cozy…

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1 Comment

  1. Donna Davis said,

    June 23, 2011 at 3:10 am

    I planned to finish my degree at UF and attend law school. I had the aptitude and the desire. Then, Michael came. When he was about a year old, I discovered that my desire to become a lawyer had waned. I carefully thought and prayed about it, and I knew I could not give the hours to a job in the law and care for my son in the way I desired. So, good-by law school! I don’t regret the decision, because I was able to become a teacher instead. I loved teaching more than I could have ever loved being a lawyer. More importantly, with a teacher’s yearly schedule, I could be a stay-at-home mom for part of the year, and the other part of the year, my hours coincided with the kids’. With my husband’s support, I was still able to go on and complete a master’s degree. Do I feel my dreams were deferred? No, not really. Do I ever wonder what would have happened if I became a lawyer? Sometimes. But I would never give up the years I had with my kids for anything.
    Your ministry will expand as you share your thoughts on home and children. I look forward to your blog.


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