My Happy Place

It’s 5:02am and I am on top of the dining room table. I can assure you that I did not leave the comfort of my own bed to check the sturdiness of the furniture. At 4:55am I woke up to the sound of rain outside my window. Nothing like rain in the middle of the night that makes you want to snug closer to your sweetheart and drift back to dreamland, right? But as I laid there, I realized that this rain sounded more like erratic clicking than an actual shower.

Hold on. That’s not rain.

There would be no snuggling. Heck, no sleeping for that matter. My loathsome creature-sense knew that we were being watched. Yesterday morning, I discovered a cockroach at the Elementary School where we meet for church. You know how I feel about roaches. My version of hell involves wall to wall cockroaches in florescent lit cubicles.  I screamed like a 6 year old girl and then assured my critics that if it was anything other than a roach {a spider, a mouse, even a snake} I could handle myself, thank you.

I was wrong.

Back to the clicking. Clark and I laid awake listening to the little invader growing larger by the second. Before long, I was convinced that whatever it was had claws, fangs, and a machete poised and ready to slaughter us in our sleep. We flip on the lights and begin our futile attempts at peeking behind night stands, underneath pillows, and in the bed sheets. I’m still deluded enough to think I can “handle” myself in the event that I’m greeted by any of the aforementioned critters . Finally, Clark says, “do you want to just go back to sleep”? No sooner than he said that did he lock his gaze on something in the corner of the room. My corner of the room. My corner of the room where 2 minutes earlier I blissfully laid my head listening to what I thought was rain outside my window. It took only seconds for a rodent the size of a chiuaua to dart across the floor and in my general direction. I only caught a glimpse, but I knew it was out for blood.

Next thing I know, I’m curled up in a ball rocking back and forth on top of the dining room table. Hence, this blog post is brought to you by my happy place. Clark re-emerges with half-eaten evidence of our home invader… a deserted cereal bar that apparently never quite made it out of my beach bag from last month’s trip to Myrtle. He assured me that the mouse was “just a little guy”, but I know what I saw. Rat King with a vengeance!

Well, that’s one way to start your Monday.


1 Comment

  1. Ande said,

    July 11, 2011 at 12:32 pm

    HAHA okay, your post made me giggle before 9 am on a hot, tired Monday morning sitting in a florescent lit cubicle… so that’s pretty good! I love the comment about hell. Just put said cubicle on a hot beach in the middle of summer and add spiders to those roaches and that would be my hell. Maybe add some Rebecca Black on repeat in the background too. Ohhh yeah. Sorry about the mouse. Our house is full of creatures I’d rather not admit. I call it (actually, I just made this up right now) S.T.A.B. Sanctification Through Atrocious Bugs.

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