For Mature Knitting Audiences Only

Last night, I laid in bed while attempting to finish knitting a baby cap for my cousin’s baby. Clark laid next to me playing Angry Birds on his IPhone {like a good husband should} and together we unwound from the day by listening to the new Coldplay album. Which, by the way, have you heard it? Oh my gosh…quick plug… all I have to say is “Paradise” is hands down favorite track!

At 10:30, I was nearly 2 rows and one Coldplay track from being finished with my knitted cap when it occurred to me that things may not turn out like I had hoped.The G-rated version of this story is that my baby cap looked more like a mushroom cloud or a bakers hat. The real truth is, that it bore a strange resemblance to the male anatomy and I couldn’t possibly have my cousin’s baby, or any baby for that matter, seen around around town with a giant phallic symbol on top of her head. Its a baby cap for crying out loud! Does anything else say “innocence” quite like a baby cap? I don’t think so. And still, somehow I managed to defile it.

So, I will begin round 2 tonight. We have the new Gungor album to listen through which will give me the perfect opportunity to knit myself back to all purity and virtue.

And should you decide to try this at home, here’s the pattern:

**Baby Cap:
-cuff: co 44 st. work in k1, p1 ribbing for 1 1/2

-crown:
row 1 {right side}: knit
row 2 {wrong side}: purl
repeat rows 1 & 2 until piece measures 5″ from cast on edge, ending on wrong side

-shape top {AND THIS IS WHERE IT STARTS TO GET DANGEROUS!}
Row 1: *K2tog, K2: repeat from * across: 33st
Row 2: Purl
Row 3: *K2tog, K1: repeat from * across: 22st
Row 4: Purl
Row 5: K2tog, *K2, K2tog; repeat from * across: 16st
Row 6: Purl
Row 7: K2tog across: 8st. Cut yarn leaving a long end. Thread yarn into yarn needle and draw remaining st on needle. Draw up tightly and fasten off securely. Sew side seam. Turn up cuff.

{**No picture for fear of WordPress flagging this post as “Mature”}

Happy Tuesday!

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