First Place

I don’t usually post on Saturdays but this morning’s 10k training experience is well worth documenting. I took a different route through downtown Charlotte, and soon noticed that most of the roads were blocked by squad cars. I thought about asking a cop what all the fuss was about, but then out of the corner of my eye, I saw them. Runners. Not just any runners. Front runners. And they had to be a block away still which meant, I was at the front of the race. Now any self-respecting citizen would have cheered them on and gone their merry way. But no. Not me. I saw it as the chance of a lifetime and before I could help myself, I tore off in front of all of them right behind the leading squad car. All 15 seconds of glory and triumph was mine though never to be had again. No sooner than I began to revel in my undeserved gain, did the real runners start passing me as though I was standing still flagging NASCAR. Then I got that sinking feeling that you get when you realize you accidentally skied down a black diamond slope and you are inevitably going to die or lose a necessary appendage. When an elderly gentleman and a prepubescent boy passed me doing a 7 minute mile, I fell into a heap of laughter nearly beyond recovery. And then I noticed that the race was called “Run For Your Life” which as previously determined, if I ever did have to run for my life, I would probably die. Now my laughter is at the point of hysteria. So I fell into pace with all of the other “normal” runners and yes, I even stole the free water that the cub scouts were passing out and threw my Dixie cup on the pavement with gusto… twice. Don’t worry. I made sure I hit up a different cub scout on the other side of the street the second time I passed the water station.

Yes, I feel like one of those people that park in expectant mother’s parking when they’re not pregnant. No decency, no shame. But, for that brief moment in time when I was in first place, well, what can I say? Don’t hate me, but it was worth it.

Happy Saturday everyone!


1 Comment

  1. Jessica C. said,

    November 12, 2011 at 3:09 pm

    bahahahahahahaaaaaa, this is the funniest thing I’ve read in a LONG time.

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